Kids Sure Know How To Humble Their Parents

Today was a horrible no good very bad day at church. Unfortunately, there was nothing quiet, reverent, or much behaved on our pew. It was as though Caleb was out to get me- he knew exactly which buttons to push and at what exact moment. Combined with the fact that Damon and I were both singing in the choir today and chose to sit towards the front of the chapel did not help our little family. The combined mixture of it all created an episode that turned out to be rather humiliating. I'll spare you the little misbehaving details (although there were many), and skip right to the main performance.

Caleb was lying on the floor (again). I asked him nicely three times to sit up on the pew and fold his arms and get ready for the prayer. He didn't listen to me. I try picking him up to put him on the pew myself. I'm mad (because not only is he not listening, but now every bone in his body has gone limp and he's a dead weight weighing in at what feels like 60 lbs. Although, I know this isn't true, I try again only this time I rev myself up knowing I'll have to put more energy into my grab to counter his lifeless body. I grab around his waist and under his legs and put him on the pew (with a little harder sit then I normally would because I'm mad and because I want him to know I mean business.)

Caleb scowls at me and with a loud voice says,

"Mom, you hurt my penis!"

I died. I hear snickers from a few rows back and I can see shoulders shaking with laughter from a few pews in front of me. I think to myself, "This is why we should always sit in the back of the chapel."

Because there are a few snickers, this makes Caleb even madder to which he continues, "That's not funny!"

And where is my husband you ask? At the other end of the pew, reading his scriptures and enjoying the serenity, peace and quiet without two kids crawling on him.

All those in favor of compiling their child's most memoriable/embarassing remarks in church into a book, please raise your hand! I'd have one more contribution to make to the addition. And by the way... what in the world would you call such a book?

I Survived

I survived without my fridge for 45 days....it's now fixed and I'm back in the land of the living. Today is a GREAT day!


I reflect back on this past month and have a greater appreciation for those pioneers who didn't have our modern conveniences....and they didn't even have the luxury of getting ice blocks conveniently located at their local grocery store. I'm looking forward to heading to the store today. What should I make for dinner tonight to celebrate? Believe it or not, I'm craving veggies and fruits... something that I didn't keep a lot of in our cooler.

Fantastic American Idol Performance

I know that I have said it before, but I'm a huge David Cook fan. I think he's one of the most original arrangers/performers of this season. If you didn't watch American Idol last night, you missed an amazing performance! (Before you play this video- make sure you pause the music at the bottom of this blog.)

You Never Know What You're Going To Get

I needed a few minutes this morning so that I could get dinner prepared in the crockpot. I decided to distract Caleb with a little made up "off the cuff" game. I thought I'd share a few of his responses....

Mom: "Caleb, do you know how we get peanut butter?" (one of his favorite foods)

Caleb: "Yes, you crack the peanuts and squish them."

Mom: "Very good. How do we get honey?"

Caleb: "From the store."

Mom: "Yes, we buy honey at the store, but do you know who makes the honey? The bees help make the honey."

Caleb: "Oh." (perplexed)

I give Caleb a brief explanation on how bees and the bee keepers help to get the honey at the store.

Mom: "Do you know where we get milk from?"

Caleb: "From mommy's boobies."

Mom: (I finished breast feeding almost 2 months ago.) "Well, that's where babies get there milk from. But, we get our milk from cows."

Caleb: "What do the udders do?"

Mom: "Hmmm, the farmers squeeze the udders to get the milk from the cows."

Mom: "Do you know where we get bacon from?"

Caleb: Shakes his head no.

Mom: "We get bacon from piggies."

Caleb: "Oh."

Mom: "Do you know where we get hamburger from?"

Caleb: "Yes! McDonalds."

Bathing Beauty

I don't know about you, but I absolutely love the moment my kiddies step out of the bath. I just want to breathe them in and squish them with kisses. :) I love the way Porter's hair gets all curly when it's wet.



We have a picture of Damon and I on one of our night stands. Porter likes to look at it and say, Da Da Da Da. He is definitely a daddy's boy.

Caught Red Handed.... Sharing

Caleb began sharing his Cheerio cereal in a bag (for breakfast) with Porter. I decided to snap a few shots while thinking to myself I wonder how long this cooperative sharing will last? For several moments Caleb continued to tell Porter, " Okay, Porter... last one." "Okay, Porter... but this is it." "Okay, Porter, but I mean it after this.. no more."

That kind of dialogue continued for five minutes.
Then, Caleb said, "MOM! PORTER WANTS ALL OF MY FOOD AND I DON'T WANT TO SHARE ANYMORE, Okay?"

Daddy & Son Bonding

I Spy

I needed a few things so I took Caleb to Walmart today. Before we left, we had our usual prep talk. It went something like this:

Me- "Okay, Caleb. Mommy needs to get a few things at the store.

Caleb- "Which store are we going to?"

Me- "Walmart, and we're going to be really fast because we're in a hurry."

Caleb- "Can I look at toys?"

Me- "You may look at toys for 1 minute, but not until mom's gotten everything on her list. And today, we are not buying any toys, we are just looking, okay?"

Caleb- "Okay."

After a minute, Caleb says, "Can we look at the fish too?"

Me- "No, just toys today. Remember, Mommy's in a hurry."

After parking by the garden center (where I always park- because there's less lines at the check out, I get a quick walk in because everything I need is at the opposite end of the store and you can always find a parking space), we dash into the store.

Since I have a minute to kill before we get to the grocery section, I start the "I Spy" game.

Me- "I spy some plants."

Caleb- "I spy a blue cup."

Me- "Very good, Caleb. "I spy some sunglasses."

Caleb- "I spy a T-shirt."

Me- "Good eyes, Caleb. I spy some pajamas."

Caleb- (Looking at the bra section says) "I spy some boobies."

When It Rains... IT POURS!

Oh My Heck is all that I can say! What a month of happenings and not the great kind. After complaining to my mother about one of our most recent issues she said, "We'll, you know it usually comes in three's."

Hmm, I laugh to myself and think, "Oh number three was an easy fix and that happened two weeks ago... I'm going on number fifteen.

What is the purpose of life?

To find the humor in all things.

I've laughed so hard lately my stomach hurts. Do you think you can lose inches laughing? I sure hope so!